Seinfeld Declassified Episode 42: Would dog medicine really work for a human?

Hello, Newman. The season continues with one of the more ridiculous episodes, the andrea doria. So the story revolves around the k man & his absurd attempts to cure his ailment with medicine designed for canines but would this actually work in real life? Well, we put our top researchers on the case & here’s what they found. First, before we find out whether it would work, we need to diagnose his condition. So to do that, let’s look at all the facts we currently have, shall we?

So he mentions it’s the same affliction as the dog which ordinarily I would doubt because he’s never been playing with a full deck but the fact remains he would know what his own cough sounds like. So if the dog’s cough sounds exactly like his, he would be able to recognize it rather easily. & we know it’s a curable disease because obviously he doesn’t have it in any future episodes. So according to our research, the most likely option would be pneumonia. But even if that is the case, would canine medicine work for humans? Well, surprisingly enough, they do.

Many studies have found that antibiotics prescribed for animals are not only safe for human consumption but work wonders for the furry little guy’s bipedal best friend. However, it should be noted it is very much illegal for vets to dispense animal medication for human consumption, including antibiotics. Also, keep in mind this is not a catch-all. While some may be safe for humans to take, many animal drugs have impurities that human drugs do not. While the FDA throughly tests any & all human medication before it hits shelves, they don’t always do the same amount of rigorous testing when it comes to our beloved canine companions. There’s also the very real possibility the k man may have misdiagnosed himself considering he’s not a real doctor (no matter what martin van nostrand might have you believe).

So where does that leave us? Well, obviously you should always consult your physician before taking any sort of drug that isn’t over the counter. But most antibiotics should be okay to take regardless of what species it’s intended for. But the bottom line is don’t be as stupid as the k man; if you’re having respiratory issues, just go to a human doctor. I did when I had pneumonia & thanks to him, we were able to diagnose the issue & clear it up in no time. So that’s pretty much all I had for you guys today but thank you so much for reading. Have a great weekend & I’ll see you back here next week for a brand new episode of Seinfeld Declassified. Until then, this is the x factor signing off.