Seinfeld Declassified Episode 30: Does the drug test check out?

Hey, guys. I hope you’re as excited as I am to jump into a new episode. So this one follows Elaine as she tries to go on a work trip to Kenya with Mr. Peterman but can’t seem to pass the drug test prerequisite. It might sound like an absurd plot but can poppy seeds actually cause someone to test positive for opium in a drug test? Well, that’s what we’ll be declassifying on today’s episode. So let’s delve right in.

So as you may know, poppy seeds are the edible seeds that come from the opium poppy which is the source of many illicit drugs such as a heroin, morphine and codeine. But you may not know the whole truth behind it. You see, although the seeds themselves do not have any opiates, they do sometimes get contaminated by the morphine when they are being harvested. Now, yes, it’s true that processing does remove much of that morphine but it’s not unheard of for some of that residue to remain on the seeds long after it’s been processed.

So technically, depending on where the seeds come from & what kind of testing was used on them, if you do eat enough poppy seeds, it is theoretically possible for you to test positive for opium when you’re being screened for drugs in your system. This is often why many convicts on parole are often prohibited from eating poppy seeds.

Of course, there is a discernible difference between a compulsive drug user & someone with an affinity for everything bagels & as such, the threshold for the test has been modified over the years to help scientists differentiate between the two. Scientists estimate that these seeds can be detected in the bladder up to two days prior to consumption which is why they do recommend avoiding them for at least a few days prior to any drug screening you may be subjected to.

& for god’s sake, don’t be like Elaine & try to swap it out with an old woman’s urine because, as you’ve seen, it will not end well for you. The last thing you want is to be the boy or girl who cried osteoporosis. So that’s about all I have for you guys today but thank you so much for reading. Have a great weekend & I will see you back here soon for a brand new episode of SD. Until then, this is the x factor signing off.