Culinary Culture Episode 7: Never grow up
Hey, guys. I know I typically only review small business restaurants but after this experience, I just had to say something about it. As you probably know, right now mcdonald’s is trying to capitalize on your nostalgia by selling happy meals to adults. Known as the cactus plant flea market box, they’ve become such a hot commodity that apparently they’re going for as much as 300 grand on ebay. Fortunately, being the non-idiot that I am, I was able to find a location that still had them in stock in lieu of squandering my life’s savings on a cheap, useless toy.
Anyway, so let me walk you through the experience. I walked in, ordered a CPFM box on one of their touchscreens, & got my happy meal within ten minutes. I won’t bore you with the details of the food because every human in existence knows what fries & mcnuggets taste like but it was the toy that proved rather disappointing.
For one thing, it wasn’t even adult-oriented; it’s literally just a plastic grimace made in china. There is zero difference between this and the toys they put in children’s happy meals. But the worst part of it is it’s not even accurate. Look at any picture of the big purple monster online & you know how many eyes you’ll see on him? Two; & you know how many this abomination has? Four. It’s like these toys were made by someone who’s never even heard of mcdonald’s before in their lives (& frankly I don’t see how that’s possible considering its ubiquity).
Possibly the worst offense is the fact there are four different toy options - grimace, the hamburgler, birdie and a cactus buddy — and not one of them is ronald mcdonald. He’s literally the face of the franchise but apparently they’d rather make up some new character no one cares about than put that beloved clown’s face on one of their toys. That in and of itself should speak volumes about just how little faith they had in this whole endeavor from the get-go. This has got to be the laziest cash grab I’ve seen since thunder force. So by all means, I beg of you: if you’re in the mood for a big mac or mcuggets, just order that but don’t waste your money on this hokum. Just because everyone else is acting like an idiot doesn’t mean you have to as well.